The Giving Tree Happy Mail Exchange

Rules

The Giving Tree Happy Mail Exchange Group

Subgroups and Rules

Revised:  1/1/2026

Rules are boring, but must be abided by in order to maintain membership.  Membership is not guaranteed if Rules are not followed.  

Aspects (types of participation)

There are two distinct and separate “aspects” of being an active Member of The Giving Tree Happy Mail Exchange Group (GTHMX for short).  Both aspects are an important and have a specific purpose.  

Aspect 1) participating in and being active in the fair exchange of sending (and receiving) Happy Mail through Snail Mail with fellow Members of the group and participating in Events and Challenges.  Aspect 1 pertains to the “activity of sending and receiving” Happy Mail through activities such as RAK (Random Acts of Kindness), Swaps, and Events/Challenges. 

Aspect 2) participating in the “social part” (i.e. “the Facebook part”) of belonging to the group by interacting with fellow Members on our Facebook Page by Liking, Commenting, and Posting, participating in relevant Chats, Craft-a-Longs, Lives, creating and maintaining a personal Album on our Page, participating in Meets/Calls (such as is done on platforms such as Google Meet or Zoom) and other “social” (online) activities.

Subgroups

GTHMX has two Subgroups.  Each Member will belong to only one Subgroup at any given time depending on which level of participation they choose.  

Think of the above listed aspects as “types of participation” and will define which Subgroup you will be best suited for. 

The Subgroups are generally defined here:

  1. “Fully Active” (FA) – this Subgroup consists of Members who choose to participate in BOTH aspects of group activities named above (Aspect 1 and 2).  You are active on our Facebook Page AND you are currently participating in the fair exchange of Happy Mail as is specifically described in Rule 2, Definition of Participation under Rules.  It is important to realize that being an active Member of GTHMX requires participation in a healthy mix of both aspects.
  1. B.  “Temporarily Inactive” (TI) – this Subgroup consists of Members who, for whatever reason, choose to “take a temporary break” from sending Happy Mail and are not held to the requirements as is described under Rule 2, Definition of Participation. TI Members may choose to be active on our Facebook Page, but are not required to be socially present.

(See more information on Subgroups in our official Rules below.)

Updating your Subgroup Status

You may change your Subgroup status at any time by contacting either Melanie Turnage or Lisa Freedman via Facebook Messenger.  

Changes to your Subgroup status will be published on the official Address and Birthday Lists as are regularly updated, and found under Files and in Featured Posts.  

Admin Melanie Turnage is responsible for maintaining records of Member’s Subgroup status option changes.  

Rules (effective January 1, 2026)

1.  Participation is required to maintain Membership and is defined according to the Subgroup you have chosen. 

2. Definition of “Participation”

The definition of “Participation” is specifically relative to which Subgroup you belong.

Fully Active (FA) – Fully Active Members participate in both aspects as mentioned above; participating in the exchange of Happy Mail AND being socially present on our Facebook Page by Liking, Commenting and Posting. The following three (3) requirements are expected of Fully Active Members.  

  1. Fully Active Members must be at least minimally active in sending at least one (1) Happy Mail to at least three (3) different fellow Members every thirty (30) days.  There is no requirement as to what you have to send, although a handmade or store-bought card is a nice gesture.  Sending more than that is a most kind and thoughtful deed.  That said, there is no pressure to put any undue financial or economic burden on anyone at any time for any reason. The spirit of sending Happy Mail is to brighten someone else’s day.  (Remember the 1-3-30 Rule).
  1. Fully Active Members should be socially present on our Facebook Page, just so that it is evident that you’re “here” and “in class” so to speak.  Being socially present is to participate by Liking, Commenting and Posting.  In other words, we shouldn’t have to guess if you’re still with us.  The exception to this Rule is if you are Temporarily Inactive, and have chosen not to be socially active.  
  1. “Thank You” posts are required for each and every Happy mail you receive. When you receive Happy Mail from a fellow Member, a “Thank You” is in order and a post should be created on our Facebook Page.  Please create a “Thank You” post within one week of receipt. The post should include at least one photo of the contents of the envelope or package.   A simple thank you is always in order, just as if the Sender handed you a gift in person. If the Sender’s Facebook settings will not allow you to tag them, then simply type out their name and express your gratitude without tagging.  Post, Tag and Thank

This rule is essential to the spirit of our group. Grace and reminders will be offered, but repeated failure to post thank-you acknowledgments may result in suspension or removal.

  • Participation in Events, Challenges, Charity Events, Chats, Craft-a-Longs, Lives, Calls/Meets, etc are always optional.
  • If you feel it necessary, you may post Proof of Mailing when sending Happy Mail to fellow Members.  Proof of Mailing is a post on our Facebook page that includes a photo(s) of the Happy Mail envelope or package (not the contents) you intend to send with postage already applied.  Tag your recipient(s).  But please cover Member addresses when posting a Proof of Mailing.  Posting Proof of Mailings have purpose in that it shows you are abiding by the Rules and is helpful in demonstrating active participation, especially if your recipient doesn’t create a Thank You post on our Page.
  • If any Fully Active Member is shown to be inactive (not abiding by Participation requirements stated in Rule 2) for a period of two (2) months without requesting Temporarily Inactive status from an Admin they will be potentially be subject to removal.  

Temporarily Inactive (TI) – There are no “participation” requirements for Members who are Temporarily Inactive. TI Members are not required to be present on our Facebook Page, but may be socially present when and if they wish.  

Additionally, 

  • TI Members are not required to participate in sending Happy Mail to fellow group Members, but may do so if they wish.  The point of having a TI status option is to give Members a break from the requirements of being Fully Active if it is needed.  Each and every situation where a Member may request TI status is different and each person will have their own capabilities and limitations.  It is very difficult to make a hard stance on whether a Member should/should not send Happy Mail out to fellow Members while on TI status. 
  • TI Members may participate in Events, Challenges and Swaps of any kind and any activity related to sending Happy Mail to fellow group Members unless excluded by the Event or activity Host.  
  • Unless someone makes exception, those who are TI do not typically receive Happy Mail, but that option is left completely up to the Sender.  
  • TI Members may participate in drawings for prizes unless explicitly excluded by drawing host.
  • TI Members may still be active on our Facebook Page by Liking, Commenting and Posting as appropriate and participating in Chats, Craft-a-Longs, Lives, creating/maintaining an Album on our Page, participating in Calls/Meets and other social activities.  However, these activities are not a requirement. 
  • TI Members ARE welcome to participate in Charity Events if they so choose, even if it relates to sending “happiness” to charity recipients or a charity affiliation. 

Unless approved by an Admin, anyone in Temporarily Inactive “TI” status, should not remain in this Subgroup for any more than three (3) months.  If a Member needs more time in TI status, the Member should contact an Admin to discuss.  We want to make accommodations where they are needed, but at the same time help prevent exploitation of this status option.

1.  Reciprocity 

Reciprocation means that if someone sends Happy Mail to you, you are encouraged to send Happy Mail back to them, however it is not required. Reciprocation is NOT required for each and every HM you receive. Some members cannot send back each and every time for a multitude of reasons.

2.  Inviting New Members 

If you wish to invite someone to our group, please check with an Admin, Melanie Turnage or Lisa Freedman to see if the group is currently open to accepting additional Members BEFORE inviting any person.   

 3.  Termination is Discretionary

Members may be terminated or banned from the group if the Rules are not followed. Members may be terminated or banned from the group at the sole discretion of the Admins.  However, the Admins will make every effort to communicate with Members regarding potential removal prior to termination of Membership.  Admins will strive to understand any factors regarding any certain situation, strive to accommodate any certain situation and make reasonable allowances prior to removing or banning any Member, so that termination/banning is the last option.

4.  Membership Questions Must Be Answered

In order to maintain Membership, any person joining GTHMX group must answer the Membership Questions in the affirmative, agreeing to the Rules mentioned in said questions. Anyone who joins, but does not answer the Membership Questions and refuses to agree to the Rules will be removed.  Membership Requests that come in where a potential Member has not answered the Membership Questions will be advised as to why their request to join was declined.  Any person, unless banned, may rejoin if they are willing to answer Membership Questions in the affirmative. Current Members who have joined before May 15, 2024 are excluded from this requirement, albeit, the governing Rules still apply whether questions were answered or not.

5.  Be kind and courteous/No hate/No drama

In the case where any Member purposefully, willfully or carelessly causes harm to a fellow Member(s), creates intentional drama or creates a situation whereby another Member is woefully offended, harmed or embarrassed, OR if any Member purposefully and intentionally or carelessly exposes secretive or personal information of another Member without permission, the offending Member may be removed immediately.  Bullying of any kind isn’t allowed, and degrading comments about things like race, religion, culture, sexual orientation, gender or identity will not be tolerated.

6. Links that lead to outside sources

When sharing a link that leads to an outside source of information (example, a link that leads to a YouTube video or a link that leads to a product that is for sale), Facebook notifies the Admins before the link is published.  This gives the Admins a chance to review the link and determine if it leads to a place that contains malware or anything that could potentially be harmful or expose our group’s private information, such as our addresses and birthdays.  Depending on where the link goes and for what purpose it serves, the link may or may not be approved.  So if there is a delay in seeing your post that contains a link, this is the reason.  If your post that contains a link is not approved, you will be notified.

7. Respect everyone’s privacy

Please do not share posts or private messages that display members’ addresses, phone numbers or other personal information, including information regarding health, mental health or finances or any other personal or sensitive information. This is imperative to ensure the safety, well-being and happiness of all group Members.  

Exceptions to any of the above are fully at the Admin’s discretion.

Rev 1/1/26